I'm Soooo Upset....again!

I'm so disappointed again! I feel like nobody is respecting me.....even the one and only person I'm expecting to give his very respect. I am so upset. He promised me not to do it again....I thought he'll never do this again because he was afraid to loose me but I am wrong. I think he's pushing me to go away! I gave him a chance but he failed me! He didn't even say sorry nor felt sorry for what he has done! What am I? A kid that can easily forget a promise? I did try so hard. Being good...cool...but I feel like I am always being taken for granted. I think he just need me and not LOVE me. He only needs me because we have kids... I am so bad thinking all of these but It's what I am feeling right now, I am sorry, I can't stop myself. I wanted to write about it! I am so disappointed. Now how can I able to trust him again? I mean his words. I hate myself for being sensitive. How I wish I was born with no feelings at all! I hate myself for being like this. I hate to see myself like this. I hate to feel this way. I really hate it but I can't stop it. The pain is still there, no matter how hard I try thinking positive things....I am now feeling ANGER! Is this all he wants? Me getting mad at him? Hate him until my LOVE for him is gone?! He's hurting my feelings for so many times now....I just don't think this will work still. How can I trust his words again?! No MORE! No more! I can't trust his words again! Since he did it again, I think he knows what will happen next.....