Jan 30, 2010

I can't bear this alone.....

We we're okay this morning....
chatting while he's at work and I am home...
I was so happy when I asked him to be my valentine and end up joking around.....
I find it sweet...
Suddenly here I go again....
I am asking too much questions again...
I am not contented with his answers again....
Asking more questions...until he finally got irritated again!
This always happens....I think it's all my fault..
Of course it is! What am I expecting after what I have just done again?
I am expecting we could talk about it when he arrives...
but again, as always....he's mad again!
He doesn't want to talk to me coz he believe we will end up arguing again about nonsense things...
He never respect nor listen to my sentiments...
I know he's tired of listening with my according to him "non sense" reasons...
I also know that somehow I am wrong...I just wanted him to comfort me...
He's not type of husband..I know.
He Loves me but he's not that showy as I am...
I know it's wrong to expect too much from him...
he has his own way... I know.
I am writing this because I just want to talk about it...
I wanted to change...I don't wanna lose my husband because of my attitude....
I know he loves me...I know he's not doing anything wrong that could affect our relationship/family(that was what he had also told me before) and I believe him...
How come I am so selfish? How come I am so jealous with his officemates especially his opposite sex?!
I am often saying that I trust him it's just that I don't trust the people around him...
He said he's officemates were not like what I am thinking....
I know...
I also know that he needs friends aside from wife.....
I also know that he's friendly....
I just don;t know what my problem with that is...
Am I getting crazy inlove with my hubby?
Or I am just getting crazy?
I am tired of crying whenever he got mad because of my attitude...
I am tired of crying thinking things I am creating in my mind and causing me so much pain!
I think my hubby is right...I am assuming so much....I am thinking too much... I am negative....
I hope he's right! I hope he's right!

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Femikey