I can't bear this alone.....

We we're okay this morning....
chatting while he's at work and I am home...
I was so happy when I asked him to be my valentine and end up joking around.....
I find it sweet...
Suddenly here I go again....
I am asking too much questions again...
I am not contented with his answers again....
Asking more questions...until he finally got irritated again!
This always happens....I think it's all my fault..
Of course it is! What am I expecting after what I have just done again?
I am expecting we could talk about it when he arrives...
but again, as always....he's mad again!
He doesn't want to talk to me coz he believe we will end up arguing again about nonsense things...
He never respect nor listen to my sentiments...
I know he's tired of listening with my according to him "non sense" reasons...
I also know that somehow I am wrong...I just wanted him to comfort me...
He's not type of husband..I know.
He Loves me but he's not that showy as I am...
I know it's wrong to expect too much from him...
he has his own way... I know.
I am writing this because I just want to talk about it...
I wanted to change...I don't wanna lose my husband because of my attitude....
I know he loves me...I know he's not doing anything wrong that could affect our relationship/family(that was what he had also told me before) and I believe him...
How come I am so selfish? How come I am so jealous with his officemates especially his opposite sex?!
I am often saying that I trust him it's just that I don't trust the people around him...
He said he's officemates were not like what I am thinking....
I know...
I also know that he needs friends aside from wife.....
I also know that he's friendly....
I just don;t know what my problem with that is...
Am I getting crazy inlove with my hubby?
Or I am just getting crazy?
I am tired of crying whenever he got mad because of my attitude...
I am tired of crying thinking things I am creating in my mind and causing me so much pain!
I think my hubby is right...I am assuming so much....I am thinking too much... I am negative....
I hope he's right! I hope he's right!

What's New with NEW YEAR?

Hello there! I'm Back!!! I missed blogging soooo much! It's been two months! Acer really sucks! How come I have to wait for almost two months before they deliver the speaker and keyboard my laptop needs? Anyway past is past. I already have my laptop and I can blog now! Hooray!!!

So what's new? Aside from knowing that payperpost is no longer that active, what else? What else did I miss? Did I missed new stuff online? I missed shopping online already! I missed digiscrapping and artscow! Is there something new I could be interested with like these personalized duffle bag, insulated lunch tote and the undying laundry bag I've been longing? Oh how can I able to buy those If I don't have much opps right now? What else? How about me? Oh, there's nothing new, just like the old Jes, still Jes. I am still jelous with my husband's office mates, still paranoid even though I've already proven to myself that my hubby is not what my dirty mind is thinking. Poor hubby of mine. I'm sure he's so tired of me already. I'm trying to change, but sometimes I just can't control my immature feelings. Sorry Daddy! I love you! I am trying to fix myself ...I don't wanna lose my husband, I don't wanna lose his LOVE, the only thing that inspires me everyday. Aside from these things, hubby and I have new bonding moment, FACIAL Massage @ Let's Face It! I love it! I love the one hour stay in that room lying and holding hands with my hubby. That is so sweet! We we're suppose to spent our time in the gym also every other night but his schedule is really hectic now that he is with a new project. Hope to have more bonding with hubby. I always wanted to stay beside him but I just realized I have to lie low sometimes. I have to teach myself to let go sometimes. I am also learning to love myself, have a break and enjoy being alone sometimes. I hope that helps. Okay, that's all for now. I really wanted to blog more of my changes tonight but I have to sleep already. I'll be blogging tomorrow again! Night!

Our Condo Downpayment on it's 18th month!

I am so happy that we finally paid 18 months down payment of our condo this month. On the other hand I am also nervous because we only have six months left to prepare for our miscelleneous fees. As I have said before we need to pay our Miscellaneous fees before they turn over our condo to us on May next year. What's being nervous about this is that we still don't have money on hand for this. Though I am hoping I could get all my collectibles before May so I could possibly pay it on time but still there is no security that I could get it in time that I'll be needing it. I think I'll be needing a back up plan or I need someone who can lend me money for the meantime. Despite all these problems, I am more excited than problematic. Yeah I am very excited! I am very happy for we have this kind of investment. I am excited to finally soon have our own. As in we already have fruits of labor. I am very proud of my husband. Because of him, we can be able to pay it. Hope we could still pay the succeeding balance in God's help and guidance in the future. I am trying my best to help my husband with our finances and I am glad God is giving me what I am praying to him. I am thankful to our Lord for being very kind to me and to my family. I am looking forward to our condo's turn over next year coz I can't wait to see it interior designed. If ever we have budget that time I will surely hire real property management for it. I wanted it to be a perfect unit for our future student tenants. =)