44 days to go.....

Oh goodness! Christmas christmas.....coming so fast. I was so busy doing stuff, I can't concentrate....I even forgot to prioritize my daughter Ishi's birthday to be held on 13th of November in her school. I just finished making an invites that is supposedly given already last week. I also just ordered foods in Jollibee this morning! I feel like I am cramming! I went to Divisoria last Monday and there are lots of gift items to choose from. I didn't go shopping for christmas presents, been there to buy giveaways for my daughter's party so I didn't buy anything aside from what I only intended to buy that day. Oh that was tiring! I wanted to come back soon but I changed my mind. I'll be looking for some gifts at the mall instead or maybe online. I saw many stuff there I really like to buy like personalized ink stamps, bath wrap and terry towel wrap if I do have enough budget. But since I only have a certain budget, I really have to choose cheaper yet memorable gift items for all of my love ones. It's only 44 days to go and christmas is in the air! I'm so excited to buy gifts and wrap them all! =)

I'm Soooo Upset....again!

I'm so disappointed again! I feel like nobody is respecting me.....even the one and only person I'm expecting to give his very respect. I am so upset. He promised me not to do it again....I thought he'll never do this again because he was afraid to loose me but I am wrong. I think he's pushing me to go away! I gave him a chance but he failed me! He didn't even say sorry nor felt sorry for what he has done! What am I? A kid that can easily forget a promise? I did try so hard. Being good...cool...but I feel like I am always being taken for granted. I think he just need me and not LOVE me. He only needs me because we have kids... I am so bad thinking all of these but It's what I am feeling right now, I am sorry, I can't stop myself. I wanted to write about it! I am so disappointed. Now how can I able to trust him again? I mean his words. I hate myself for being sensitive. How I wish I was born with no feelings at all! I hate myself for being like this. I hate to see myself like this. I hate to feel this way. I really hate it but I can't stop it. The pain is still there, no matter how hard I try thinking positive things....I am now feeling ANGER! Is this all he wants? Me getting mad at him? Hate him until my LOVE for him is gone?! He's hurting my feelings for so many times now....I just don't think this will work still. How can I trust his words again?! No MORE! No more! I can't trust his words again! Since he did it again, I think he knows what will happen next.....

Dreams...Dreams....Dreams....

I have lots of dreams, but I am not focusing on them yet coz there are lots of things I need to prioritize first. I can't name all of my dreams because they were too many. First I just wanted to have kids, and now that I have kids, my dreams and wants became more and more. Not just for me but for them also. I am so lucky having a very talented husband. Most of my dreams I already have were reached because of him. Why? Because if he's not talented we will not be able to have a life like this. Maybe for others our life is not that good yet compare to other families, but for me it's already perfect minus the fact that we don't have our own house and car yet. It's okay with me that we can't go have a vacation yet, we can't even go somewhere near not just this months ago, and thanks to my mom in law for allowing us to use her car. =) Some people saying I am hard working too, I know that! =) But even if I am this hard working, I can't still have such things without my husband's help. If I met a guy who's not taking home a good income do you think I can still have some good things for myself? I don't think so coz not to mention my case who's still helping my family, Im sure he'd probably left me already! My husband is so helpful. He's very supportive. He's allowing me to buy things for myself as long as I am earning too! ehehhe =) He's such a cool husband and dad. I am not saying he's perfect coz he also has some things that I don't want him doing. You know what I mean if you're reading my blog. All I wanted to say is that, I am so thankful I have CARLOS as my better half. A good father, a faithful husband, a good son in law and brother in law. =) I may got mad to him sometimes but above all those he's still my love, my life and my dream!